Monday, November 27, 2006
Sex in Japan?
" It's not really necessary to use a condom, because I can always have an abortion. Emiko, a 19-year-old woman who says she sleeps with three or four "friends," but doesn't worry about getting HIV/AIDS." --Japan Today
"I`m so happy. We have this house, our two boys, and a sexless marriage," Makiko
"You`ve got to be joking?!" Bob stuttered. He realized in that horrible moment, that his wife didn`t need sex. He waits patiently for her to want to make love--which happens about once every three months.
Bill is married to a Japanese too, and says that it is a marriage in name only, there is no physical contact. He feels that his wife is dissatisfied with their life, and blames him for it.
"Give me a hug too." Bob says to his Japanese wife after she has been very loving to the children. "Why don`t you hug me like you hug them (the children)?"
"I guess because you aren`t as cute as they are," his wife responds.
"To be a wife and mother really means being a mother in Japan. Men and young single women have sex, married women with children do not; seems to be the thinking," according to a Tokyo psychologist.
It seems to be fairly common that Japanese spouses do not need nor want sex from their partners. That doesn`t mean that they do not want sex from other sources. In one survey, 50% of married Japanese women admitted to having at least one affair. For men the percentage was higher.
Indeed the sex industry in Japan is huge. Kabukicho, one of Tokyo`s many red light districts is a town in itself. It covers many city blocks and boasts a variety of services. A stones throw from one of the police boxes, blowjobs and other services can be had by any man that desires them. Certainly, this huge multi-million dollar sex industry is one result of the lack of sex in many of the relationships in the land of the drooping......
Dave is sad. His beautiful Japanese wife never hugs nor kisses him. She will make love to him. But Dave says it is more like masturbation than love making. "She is in the room, but really I am just masturbating in her vagina. She spreads her thighs and lets me go to it." We make love about once a week, but there is no passion. She never hugs nor kisses me. She loves me, but shows it by making bread or a pumpkin pie. I`d rather she put her arms around me sometimes.
Masako jokes, "I have cobwebs down there it has been so long since the last time." She says she and her Japanese husband rarely make love.
Yumiko says her husband rarely touches her. He seems more interested in baseball than her body. She needs more.
It seems that after having children, many Japanese wives lose interest in sex with their partners. Their main role becomes that of-- mother. Beingsexual doesn`t fit with that role in their opinion. Married men are often too tired to perform, or may lose interest in their partners after a while. Marriage does tend to kill sex.
Gay men complain that their Japanese partners have lost interest in sex too. So it isn`t restricted to heterosexuals.
A psychologist in Tokyo explains that this problem of sexless relationships is very common. It is mostly Japanese women who lose interest in sex, but Japanese men do to. There is not as much a sense of lifelong sex with your partner, as there is in the west. Western women seem to be more open to the idea of lifelong sex with the same partner than are Japanese women.
Some get used to the idea that there will be little or no sex in their marriage, and let their desire dampen down. Others have affairs. Still others drive their wives to the point that the wife tells them to get a girlfriend or pay for it.
It`s a very common problem the world over, but it seems to be more pronounced in Japan.
All names in this article have been changed to protect anonymity.